Monday, June 18, 2012

A Random Conversation Between Married People


“Pass the remote hon.”

“A four hour erection? Hell, a two hour erection and I would be rushing you to the emergency room, I would be on my phone bragging  the whole way there but it would be scary just the same”

“A two hour erection? Is that what happens when you take just half a pill?”

“No, I think with half a pill you would only get half an erection, not an erection for half the maximum allowable time”

“Would that be top of bottom, or left or right half?”

“Hhhmmmm, I imagine top or bottom, with (please God) the only option being bottom working, top not. Sort of like demi-nunchukas. I  will stick with a whole one, that sounds u-g-l-y.”

“We don’t have ANY, half OR whole. How are you going to stick with any at all when there isn’t any to stick with?”

“Whatever! Picky, picky, picky. Can you imagine Viagra as fertilizer? Dissolve a couple of pills into the watering can and voila, magnificent shrubbery. Even viney things would stand tall and proud. Nettles would become actual thorns!”

“Unless you only gave them half a pill.  Whole new meaning to afternoon wilt.“

“Really, my only question is why do the Cialis people have two bathtubs on their deck? One would be bizarre but two just seems so redundant. If the stuff worked wouldn’t they want to be in the same bath tub?  Are they related to the mattress people who keep their bed on the veranda overlooking the sea? Is it the same couple and they haul out either  tubs or mattresses depending on the mood? Why tubs at all? Hard cold porcelain is hardly the most comfortable place to hang out and get freaky, and you can’t see any plumbing so you know they are dry.”

“That was way more than one question”

“And you call me picky!”

“What were we talking about?”

“I believe it all started with lunch next Tuesday.”

“Dork”

Love is a  many splendored thing.