Celebrating Achievements

The house is for the most part clean, the food is for the most part ready, the schedule is non-existent. Have I forgotten anything? Extra toilet paper in the powder room? Check! Soap? Hand towels? Check check!! Sodas, both diet and regular? Check! Chips for the salsa? Check! A pleasant yet inexpensive red and a sweet yet dry white? Check and Check!! Coffee, creamer, sugar and cups? All checked, all the time!

Unbridled enthusiasm and energy... well... lets not ask for too much, enthusiasm and energy? Check. Unbridled disappeared about the same time I had to start leaning forward a little to see my toes over my bosom and I got my first appliance for an anniversary gift.

I pace about, tired of preparing yet not satisfied with the results of my labors so far. I have no clear vision of what a celebration for something like this should be. I succeeded in accomplishing a life long dream. What??? I know! Crazy, right? But it is true and that is surely worthy of a world class party.

Ideally it would be in a fun place with fun people, fun food, lots of fun liquor and someone else's fun credit card being swiped. I would also be 20 years younger and 50 pounds lighter with my hair the lustrous shade of red which disappeared about 1979 with my waist.  Since that is out of the question entirely I am throwing my own party with my own credit card taking the beating. I always have fun food, I hang out with a lot of very fun people, I had to clean my house anyway and I love a good party. Everything is really great. Why then do I feel this dissatisfaction?

I think because once that goal is achieved, once a person can sit back and say I wanted something as long as I can remember and now I have it, then we are left with a giant void in our dream scape that needs to be filled as quickly as possible. And I just don't know what to fill it with. I never thought this would happen so I never had a back up plan.

Crap.